Let’s Go Bruh!!!
Maybe I’m a little late to the party — or maybe way late, I’m not sure.
Either way, after nearly four decades in the sports card business, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that the best way to succeed in this game nowadays is to become some kind of influencer.
They’re always boasting about these huge deals they make, seemingly daily, bragging about “moving” so many cards so quickly, and “flipping… flipping… and more flipping!"
They’re spouting off about comps and values and all kinds of high-end economics phrases.
And if that wasn’t impressive enough, they all seem to be swimming in cash!
Sounds like the way to go, doesn’t it?
So, knowing this, I stared studying all the top-shelf players — the influencers and mover-and-shakers in the hobby.
I figure, heck, if they can do it — why can’t I?
After studying many of these folks for many minutes… I realized they all do pretty much the same thing.
Here’s a quick rundown of what I observed, and what average-Joes like you and I need to do to ramp up our trading card business to the next level.
Gotta say the word “Bruh…” as often as possible, and try and work in the term: “that’s fire,” as well. Example: “Bruh, that card… that’s fire.” See, pretty easy.
Always start every conversation, every potential deal, with, “You got any room on that?” Then give a cool finger point to a card in the showcase. Sometimes, on select occasions, even turn your head away from the showcase and look around as though you’re checking to make sure nobody is watching you. I saw this kind of thing often in my research.
Always, and I mean always, carry a backpack filled with high-end sports cards and cash. I use to carry school books in mine back in the day. Now, they’re for $15,000 in sports cards and $20,000 in cash! Who knew?
Travel to every single sports card event, show, happening with a camera guy, doesn’t matter if they know what they’re doing or not — they just gotta be there. And then, when you do strike a deal… shove the card toward the camera for effect and say “Bam! or “Boom!” Something like that.
Never, and I mean never, pay what the card is actually worth, or at least don’t do it on camera. I watched one of these guys at a huge card show this summer film the deal at one price, then actually do the deal when the camera was off at another… Smooth Move, Ex-Lax, I thought to myself.
Toss percentages around like a mathematician on LSD… Example: “I’ll give you 80% comps on that card, because we both known I can’t sell it at 100% comps, so I’ll be looking to get 90% comps, if I’m lucky, but most likely it’ll be at 85% comps which only gives me 5% comps, which isn’t much room for a fire card like this, Bruh. So you can see, for me to be at 90%, which is actually 85%, you need to be at 80% for me to buy it. S, we got a deal, Bruh?”
Always tell the guy across the table from you when making a deal that you thought it was “very fair,” even if it wasn’t fair at all. Appearances are everything and appearing like a fair businessman/woman will get you likes and thumbs up and whatever else you need to be a sports card superstar.
Well, those are seven quick tips — and there are more, for sure, but this is a good start — to turn your sports card passion into an empire!
You’re very welcome!
Now go out there, Bruh, and get rich quick!